About YOU

Why are YOU freelance copywriter shopping?
Before learning about your desired gains (objectives and measures of success), I want to know about your current pains (obstacles and frustrations). Please let me know if one of the 7 slightly exaggerated scenarios below describes you!

Your marketing/design/creative/digital/boutique/full-service/new-model/fully integrated/communications/brand strategy/disciplinary marketing/disruption agency (debating nomenclature?) is taking on water. Projects and RFPs are pouring in and the copywriters on deck have formed a cranky bucket brigade. Time to press the DISTRESS button and inform the Copywriting Coastguard of the nature of your emergency!

#1 “Mayday! Mayday! Maday!”

#2 High Stakes Drifting

Due to staffing cutbacks, your Corporate Communications department is a barren wasteland with trails of empty K-Cups® and KIND® bar wrappers the only evidence copywriters once homesteaded here. Somehow you got assigned the task of lassoing a Grade A Prime freelance copywriter with creative muscle for a critically important project, and it’s such a pain in your Bottom Round that you’re tempted to use that rope to hang yourself!

You took a calculated risk: instead of hiring a copywriter, you enlisted Peg in Payroll (who writes the internal newsletter) to develop content for pages desperately needed on your company’s website. Poor Peg became the laughingstock of the office when word got around that she asked you: “How in the heck do you expect me to incorporate synthetic engine oil into my copy?” Now your direct deposit is delinquent (coincidence?) and HR wants to have a little talk with you.

#3 Internally Conflicted

#4 Real Life Match Game

You have a ____ing crazy churn-and-burn, 10-hour-a-day, commission-based job as a recruiter for a creative staffing agency that connects creative/marketing talent with companies needing temporary or contract-to-hire help. Ironically, this  job is turning out to be not such a great match for you, because most days you leave the office so infuriated that you can’t get an adult beverage in your hand fast enough. (Recognize Betty White? I scripted some TV spots for her long after she was a regular on the original Match Game show, as shown here.) 

You know that Murphy’s Law affects new startup businesses disproportionately, and you’re trying to avoid the common pitfalls. Now that your CPA has guided you through the mindboggling landmine of complexities involved in putting out a shingle, it’s time to dig out of that compliance-related rut and think MARKETING! Yes, there are an endless number of ways to spend money on marketing, but in terms of return on investment, you’ll get a really big bang for your buck if you develop a relationship early on with a good freelance writer who is motivated about helping your company boost sales and sensitive to meeting budgetary constraints and deadlines.

#5 Ready, Set, Sell!

#6 Crisis of Confidence

You’re undecided if ‘powerful’ or ‘pathetic’ best describes your freshly penned resume and cover letter, fairly sure you have split infinitives, dangled modifiers and mismatched subjects and predicates, and absolutely certain you have incorrectly used at least one of the following words: effect, affect, ensure or assure. Well, be assured that a professional copywriter can help to ensure that your resume and cover letter will positively affect the reader’s opinion of you and produce the desired effect: getting you a follow-up phone call or interview!

You’re a graphic designer/artist who occasionally has projects that require teaming up with a copywriterone of those PC-preferring people who believes a picture is rarely worth a thousand words, unless it’s a map. Long ago you learned that copywriters who embrace the mutual dependency between and words and design (i.e., ‘visual communications’) are as rare as a perfect Pantone-to-CMYK color match!

#7 Lost for Words